We Thought You Would Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive

She thought shed have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But noits happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe Im going to kick his hairs ass! to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Lauries wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of herinner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking.

Her riffs on e-mail spam (With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!), eBay (There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end), and the perils of St. Patricks Day (When Im driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, its all true.