You Don't Know Me?

You think you know John? Well, let's see . . . What bathroom fixture did his father have in mind at his birth? Does algebra have a use, besides torture? Who is Glory Halle-lujah? Who is Violent Hayes? What do they want? Who or what are the Lashasa Palulu? Why do fools fall in love? How can anyone who is fighting a secret battle for his life know anyone? And how can they know him?