Come Back to Bed (Brooklyn Book Boyfriends)

Dear grouchy neighbor: Im considering your offer and need clarification before proceeding. Despite being an artist, I think you know that as a busy New Yorker, I am also practical and straightforward. That said, I need to make sure you know that this could never turn into anything serious. I dont care if youre trying to get over your ex-girlfriend or hoping shell eventually want to get back together with youjust dont project your messy feelings about her onto me. Because, despite your resemblance to an underwear model, I wont be falling for you. Ever. Yours, with clear boundaries, Bernadette p.s. Id like to be very clear that regardless of whether or not we do this, nothing will change my feelings for your dog (and we both know she loves me too). Dear nutty neighbor: As a lawyer, I must clarify that I never made an offer. It was a suggestion regarding the possibility of a non-permanent, no-strings-attached arrangement between two consenting adults whose beds are separated by a wall. As a man who shares your disdain for messy feelings, I applaud your confidence in your ability to not fall for me. Hold onto that. Id also like to make it clear that I dont care if you want to get over your crush on your boss or if you still hope hell realize youre the woman of his dreams. That said, I definitely wasnt thinking about my ex-girlfriend when I kissed you in the laundry room, and Im quite sure you werent thinking about your boss. As a dog daddy, I'm glad you're so taken with my girl. But if you try to steal her I will get all Liam Neeson up in your pretty face. As a busy New Yorker, I think clear boundaries are hot. I have one hour free to blow your mind tonight. So turn off Netflix, put down that glass of wine, and lets do this. Yours for now, Matt