Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Wont You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer.Bren Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong Harriet Lerner is one hell of a wise woman. She draws you in with deft and engaging prose, and then changes your life with her rigorous intelligence and her deeply human advice. I promise that you will never see the apology in quite the same way. Esther Perel, MA, LMFT author of Mating in Captivity Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English languageIm sorryand offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust. Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologiesand why some people wont give themfor more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt weve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful Im sorry and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury. Why Wont You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured partythe one who has been hurt by someone who wont apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.