How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will)

Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. Theres a new threat in townand its only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And its here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven systemAssess, Protect, Defend, Applyfor safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, andin the event that a secured perimeter is breachedconfronting and combating the attackers at close range.