Here Speeching American: A Very Strange Guide to English as It Is Garbled Around the World

THE STRANGEST (AND FUNNIEST) TRAVEL GUIDE YOULL EVER READ

The celebrated authors of the perennial bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said set the typical travel guide squarely on its headtaking you from the airport to the hotel, from sightseeing to dining outby using 100 percent real examples of fractured English as spoken and posted abroad:

Feel like shopping?
We have no good things to sell.
shop sign, Lovina Beach, Bali

Feeling sick?
Are you haunted by the horribles? Do you run after your own nose?
Japanese medical form

Wondering what to wear?
A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but no trousers.
in a French hotel brochure

Wondering where to eat?
Grill and Roast your clients! Open for lunch, dinner and Sunday Brunch.
slogan of the Hibiscus restaurant in the Jakarta Hilton International


But dont take our word for it, come see for yourself. And if thats too much to ask, remember the sage advice from the staff of a Taipei hotel: If there is anything we can do to assist and help you, please do not contact us.